Category Archives: Humor

12 Days Of Christmas, Indian Style…

Some of my coworkers found this on Youtube. I thought it was pretty funny, having been here in India for a while. It’s made by an animated (think Gorillaz) boy band from India called Boy Mongoose.

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It’s Haiku Time!

I got a little bored one day and started writing some humorous haiku poems about some of the everyday stuff I experience in India. They are just for fun – don’t try and hyper-analyze these things, as they are probably not “Haiku 1.1 Strict Compliant”. Without further ado, here are a few selected ones:

Head bobs sideways
OK, OK, No Problem
Answer is cloudy

Synthetic football
What is this he asks
It is a mystery

More chicken ham
Lamb pepperoni please
Where’s the beef?

As you can see, I’m not planning on quitting my day job to become a writer anytime soon. Let me know what you think of them and post your own haiku in the comments!

I’ll leave you with a bonus haiku about “trickle down economics” (Oh dear, what have I done?)

Another tax cut
Hey, it worked for Reagan
Trickle down like the rain

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FIRE IS RELIGION, FIRE IS CULTURE!

Around 3:30 PM, Infosys had a fire drill in the GEC. This was not your average fire drill, however. After convincing our instructors that we needed to leave, we headed outside and were herded over to the cricket ground on campus. Apparently they had brought in a speaker. However, this was not your average public speaker. They somehow found the most intense person I have heard in ages to do a talk on basic fire safety – like the kind of stuff you learn in elementary school in the US. He was literally yelling into the loudspeaker with the fervor of a Southern Baptist preacher at a tent revival, screaming about how smoke will kill you and how you need to stop, drop and roll.

It was completely surreal – but that’s how a lot of things are in my life these days.

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Indian Goose Techno Insanity…

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An Ode To Amul Taaza…

Amul Taaza

This stuff is the world’s greatest beverage – ever. You may say “But Kevin, it’s only milk!” However, comparing this to common milk is like comparing a Ford Fiesta to a Maserati.

What other milk requires no refrigeration for up to 180 days before being opened? This marvel of agricultural engineering is achieved by filtering the milk through ridiculously high temperatures so that anything remotely living is exterminated.

In addition, it has a festive decoration on the box. The rolling green Indian hills, with red and green birds fluttering along in the sky. A lone cow/water buffalo strolls through the meadow, relaxedly chewing on the grass with a contentment that only the realization of their sacred status can bring.

I think they need to start importing this stuff for the US market – particularly the college student crowd. Being able to store your milk on the counter = more room for beer in the refrigerator!

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What Has Two Thumbs And Can Iron Shirts Now?

…(points to self) this guy! That’s right, Kevin has stepped into the age of being able to handle a searing hot appliance to de-wrinkle his clothing. Big stuff for the guy who couldn’t tie his own shoes until third grade!

This weekend has been some peaceful studying with a whole lot of doing nothing/sleeping mixed in. The campus was basically empty because of the holiday weekend (Thiru Onam), so I was able to get a lot of “alone recharge time” that I desperately needed. The fact that I had a lot more internet bandwidth to work with was another plus – was able to have clearer SkypeVideo chats with the parents.

I have been trying to prep myself for the week – it’s going to be a busy one, with two module test retakes and a lot of programming. I’ve been going over my materials and have identified some weak spots that I’m working on clearing up for the retake and for the comprehensive examination that occurs in T-28 days. I’m also trying to navigate the corporate maze to find out what track I’m in for technical training, as I’m curious.

It’s weird knowing that classes at MSU and a variety of other places are starting up for my friends in undergrad/grad school, and I’m out here in the “real world”. It is a definite marker of my transition from the 17 years of primary/secondary/tertiary education to the workforce – I’m sure it will be even more pronounced when I get out of Training (which is a little like college in the sense of classes/exams) and into Production. It has made me wonder yet again if I made the right choice by putting my dreams of grad school on hold to chase down a lucrative job opportunity 10,000 miles away. After a lot of thought, I think that I’ve absolutely done the right thing for me. It may not be what other people would have chosen, but it is what I was determined to do and what I am determined to succeed in.

On a related note, I’ve been perusing the CollegeConfidential.com forums to do some very, very low level research on what I should focus on if and when I decide to go back for a graduate/professional degree – and man oh man, some people there are a little too intense for me. If I am to believe all of their advice/opinions, I should be living in a box and working at McDonald’s, due to the fact that I only went to a school in the US News Top 75 (MSU is at 71) instead of a US News Top 25 school. Also, if I continue using the logic employed by some of the people on there, if don’t go to a US News Top 10 law or business school, I will have wasted my money and will go nowhere in life.

I think I broke their worldview – I should probably quit my job so that they can go back to making flawed/fallible ranking systems their personal deities.

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It’s Scary How Well I Can Relate To This Comic Now…

xkcd – GOTO

I’ve seen the raptor pens here on campus – they keep them in the sub-basement of Food Court 1.

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